


What You Leave Behind

by ariminiria



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 10:00:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23349574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariminiria/pseuds/ariminiria
Summary: After the death of an acquaintance, Spencer takes drastic measures to keep you safe. Thirteen years later, a new case is bringing up old memories. The newest victim is a mystery that the team can’t seem to move forward in solving. What happens when the unsub makes things personal for Spencer?
Relationships: Doctor Spencer Reid/Reader, Spencer Reid/Reader, Spencer Reid/You
Comments: 17
Kudos: 84





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize in advance if your name matches any of the other victims names! I just picked some names for minor characters. I hope it isn’t too distracting for you if you have a name that I used!

“Why, Spencer?” you asked. “Why would you do this? We’re... we _were_ doing so well. At least, I thought we were…”

He wouldn’t look at you. He did that sometimes, when he got lost in his own head or felt guilty about something. But right now, it was definitely the former.

“Spencer.”

No reply.

“Please…” Your voice cracked this time, but he still wouldn't meet your gaze.

“It’s better this way,” he said softly, stubbornly. “I can’t... I can’t put you in danger.”

There had been a woman. A doctor. She had helped him through a difficult time. Maeve was her name. And she had died. You knew Spencer blamed himself.

“Spencer…” you tried again. “You're not going to--”

“I barely even _knew_ her and she got murdered because of me!” Spencer said in frustration, standing from the couch. He began to pace the floor. That was never a good sign. “If that’s what happens to _acquaintances_ …? I can't…” He hesitated. “I can't let that happen to you. I… I love you.”

Now you stood, every fibre of your being tense. He couldn’t do this. He didn’t understand. There were things he didn’t know.

“If you love me, then don’t do this. You'll only hurt me… hurt _both_ of us.”

But Spencer shook his head.

“I have to. I'm sorry, (Y/N)… we have to end things.”

You gave a dry laugh.

“We…” you muttered. “There’s no _we_ in this, Spence… you're doing this all by yourself.”

The first of what would become many tears fell from the corner of your eye.

“Please… don't do this…” you whispered, trying one last time. “You don't… you don't know…”

“I _do_ know,” he said resolutely. “And that’s why I have to do this. Goodbye, (Y/N)… I’m so sorry.”

And then he was gone.

The rest of those tears fell the moment the door shut behind him.

But Spencer was wrong. He really _didn’t_ know. And now, it seemed he never would.

* * *

_Thirteen Years Later…_

“Spence?” JJ called, pulling him from his wandering thoughts. He refocused his attention, trying to put the past back where it belonged…

“We have a case.”

He gave her a nod, signalling that he would be along. She headed off without him, and he turned to organize the things at his desk. For reasons unknown, that day was at the forefront of his mind this morning. Over thirteen years had passed, and in all that time, there had been plenty of instances where Spencer regretted what he had done. Looking back on all of it, even now, he would have done things differently. He had overreacted.

About three months later, once some logic had returned to his brain, he had tried to find her, but she was like a ghost. Up and gone, just like that. Maybe he could have asked Garcia to track her down, but that never felt right, especially when it was his own fault that she’d gone.

Today, the memories were stronger than usual. It wasn’t even the same date, adding to Spencer’s confusion. Brushing off these thoughts, he grabbed his messenger bag and headed into the conference room. He was the last one to arrive, the others already having settled in. Garcia stood up front, case presentation at the ready.

“Nice of you to join us, Boy Wonder,” Rossi said over the top of his coffee mug.

Spencer simply shrugged off his teasing, and everyone turned their attention to Penelope.

“Alright, my crime-fighting lovelies,” she began, her tone more serious than usual, “Today, the sad news comes from Cape Elizabeth, Maine. A series of home invasions turned abductions has been sprouting up in this little town. The victims…” Here, she pulled up photos of three women.

Spencer couldn’t help but think of _her_ again, not for the last time that day. The women here all matched her demographic.

“These women were taken from their homes at night, found three days later. Cause of death for all of them is a single gunshot wound to the head.”

“Why are we being called in on this?” Luke asked. “Seems like it could just be unrelated. Did local law enforcement find some kind of signature?”

“I’m getting to that, Newbie,” Garcia said, but there was no bite to her words. “The connection comes in a very, very horrible way.” She clicked the remote, and three more pictures appeared on the screen.

“Each of the victims were single mothers. The unsub…” Garcia paused to take a breath. “The unsub took their kids too… and made them watch their mothers die, among the other horrible things he did. He left both the kids and the bodies near various law enforcement buildings.”

“Any evidence of sexual assault?” JJ asked.

Garcia shook her head. “No, but the autopsy report revealed a whole host of drugs in these ladies’ systems, as well as small cuts along various places of their bodies

“And the kids?” Tara asked. “The unsub let them live?”

Garcia nodded. “Yes, thankfully. They were all found with only minor scrapes and bruises, but Jewel Hart’s son, Ethan, hasn’t spoken a word, and the other two boys haven’t been able to recall anything that could help us.”

“All boys,” Spencer noted as he looked through the case file, “Between the ages of eleven and thirteen…”

“The guy is definitely after this specific family dynamic,” Luke said.

“Cape Elizabeth doesn’t have that large of a population,” Emily spoke up, “The unsub’s motivation has to be personal to go after such a limited victim pool.”

“He could be working up to the victim he really wants,” Tara said. “This could be a method of psychological intimidation for her. The involvement of the son seems to indicate how personal he wants this to be.”

“Has there been another abduction?” JJ asked.

“Yes,” Garcia said, drawing their attention again. A new pair of pictures appeared on the screen. The unsub definitely had a specific type. “Melody Porter and her son, Garrett, reported missing this morning. Garrett didn’t show up to school today, and thankfully one of his teachers pays attention to the news. She thought it was a little odd that straight-A-student Garrett was absent with no notice, especially with all this nastiness that’s been going on. So, she went to check up on them, and when she found the front door forced open, she called the police. It looks like they were taken Friday night.”

Cases involving kids always got Garcia down. Today was no different. She tried to maintain her usual bubbliness, but Spencer could see how upset she was.

“Alright,” Prentiss said, gathering up her things. “We have less than twenty-four hours to find Melody and Garrett Porter. Wheels up in twenty.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I apologize in advance if your name matches any of the other victims names!

“Alright, what do we have so far?” Prentiss began once the jet was in the air. She flipped through the case file for about the hundredth time.

Spencer, lost in thought once more, stared out the window. He knew he was distracted. But he didn’t know how to make it stop.

“The single gunshot to the head…” Luke spoke first. “The execution style seems so impersonal, but we’ve established that his victimology is _extremely_ personal, and targeted.”

“It could be that these victims aren’t fulfilling his fantasy,” Tara said. “They aren’t the source of his rage, he doesn’t care about them… They’re just surrogates, so he’s reserving his rage for the real victim.”

“What I want to know is, why the obsession with their sons?” JJ asked, looking at the information they had on the kids. “Is it indicative of his own childhood experience? Are these people surrogates for himself and _his_ mother? Or is his ultimate target a single mother herself?”

“He wants the sons to see what happens to their mother…” Spencer said, still watching the clouds outside. “Drugs the mother so she can’t fight back during the physical torture, then the psychological torture for both mother and child until the final gunshot.”

“We’re still missing something,” JJ said. “Something about this dynamic…”

“We’ll know more when we can talk to the local PD,” Emily said. “Alright, Reid, JJ, you two go to the hospital, try to talk to the sons, see what they can remember. Tara, Rossi, talk with the coroner, find out more about what was done to the women pre-mortem. Alvez, you and I are going to set up at the police station to establish a working profile. Let’s find this family before it’s too late.”

* * *

At the hospital, a nurse named Annie Meyers brought them to where the boys were staying. JJ offered to try to make headway with Ethan Hart, the one who hadn’t spoken. Reid felt rather useless, but he figured he ought to talk to one of the other boys. One of them was asleep, but the nurse pointed him to the son of the third victim, Brienna Parson. His name was Dennis.

Spencer lingered in the doorway for a moment with the nurse, not wanting to spook him.

“Dennis?” the nurse said softly.

The boy looked up.

“Dennis, I’m Doctor Spencer Reid, from the FBI. I’d like to ask you a few questions, if that’s alright.”

He nodded once, and the nurse left them alone. Spencer stepped closer, trying to come off as comforting as possible.

“I’d like to ask you about the man who took you,” Spencer began.

“You mean the man who killed my mom,” Dennis said flatly, making him pause.

“Yes,” he said after a moment’s hesitation. “He’s going to keep hurting people, but my team and I are here to stop this from happening to anyone else.”

“Good,” Dennis said quietly.

Spencer watched him carefully. “Dennis, did you happen to see his face?”

The kid shook his head, looking down at the ground.

“No… It was really dark. There was only one light, but he was always standing right in it. It was like in those old black and white detective movies. With the light…”

Spencer nodded. “I understand. Can you tell me what you saw around you? Were you able to tell where he took you?”

“He put bags over our heads or something on the way there,” Dennis answered. “And on me when he… when he brought me…” His voice cracked, and he shook his head. “And when we were there, all I could focus on was m-my mom… and what he was doing to h…”

“It’s okay, Dennis,” Spencer said softly. “You’ve given me a lot to work with. Thank you.”

Dennis just nodded.

Spencer moved to leave, but was stopped when the kid called to him again.

“Doctor Reid?”

He turned to face him.

“Please promise me… that you’ll catch this guy. I don’t care if I have to look at his face and tell a court what he did… but… this _can’t_ happen to any other kid… please…”

Spencer looked at him as sincerely as he could.

“My team and I are going to do everything in our power to bring him to justice.”

He headed back into the hall, an odd, heavy feeling in his gut.

“Reid.”

It was JJ.

“Hey, did you manage to get anything from Eth-”

“Emily just called. Melody Porter’s body was just found. They’re bringing Garrett here right now.”

Spencer frowned. “Already? But that would mean he’s speeding up his timetable, we were meant to have twelve hours yet to go…”

JJ sighed, shaking her head. “He must be devolving. Maybe our presence set him off…”

Nurse Meyers came up to Spencer.

“Agents? We have Garrett Porter. Our Doctors are examining him as we speak, once he’s been cleared, you can talk to him.”

JJ thanked her, then turned back to Spencer.

“Prentiss wants you back at the PD, to narrow down a geographical profile. I can handle talking to the kid…”

Spencer sighed, but nodded. “Let’s put a stop to this before he takes his next victim.”

* * *

“The sites of the home invasions all seem to be centrally located to this area of town,” Spencer said, drawing a circle in sharpie on the map.

Luke looked it over with a critical eye, double checking the calculation. “Yet the dump sites seem further out of his way…”

Spencer nodded at that. “He wants to be noticed by law enforcement, so badly that he intentionally chooses a more inconvenient disposal method…”

“Okay, well maybe the single mother who’s his final target works in law enforcement. He wants to be sure she knows.”

“It’s a possibility,” Spencer said, “But I can’t help but feel like we’re missing someth--”

“Help me! Somebody help me, he took my mom!”

The two agents whirled around to see a young boy, around twelve or thirteen, running into the station calling for help. He had a split lip and a bruise on his cheek, not to mention the cut on his forehead. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, but no shoes or jacket, like he’d just started to get ready for bed. Spencer thought he seemed familiar, but quickly dismissed it. Right now, the important thing was in making sure this kid was okay. He fit the victim profile.

Luke calmly but swiftly moved over to the kid, putting his hands on his shoulders.

“Whoa, whoa, easy there, who’s got your mom?”

“There was a man, in our house!” the boy said breathlessly. “And he grabbed my mom, tried to threaten her, but she fought him. She yelled at me to run, and I did… I fell down the stairs, but I got away. Please, you have to help her!”

Spencer came over to the kid.

“What’s your name? Where do you and your mom live?”

When the boy looked up at him, however, his face froze. His expression became unreadable, then he recoiled, catching Spencer off guard.

Luke frowned, looking at him questioningly, but Spencer was just as bewildered as he was.

“Kid, what’s your name and address?” Luke asked, trying again.

This time, he answered with no hesitation, listing off his address quickly. Tara went with the sheriff and a few of his men, heading outside, trying to get to the scene in time.

Emily came over to stand beside Spencer.

“Okay, and what’s your name?” Luke asked.

The kid glanced at Spencer with a glare, looking uncomfortable, but he still answered.

“Eric.”

Luke nodded. “Okay, Eric, can you tell me your mom's name?”

He looked over at Spencer again, not saying a word.

“Reid, can you come help me with this… phone call?” Emily asked.

Spencer knew she was trying to get him out of there, to make Eric more comfortable, but he still couldn’t help but feel hurt. He shut the door to the small room, frowning.

“What was that about?” Prentiss asked him.

“I don’t know…” Spencer said. “I’ve never even met that kid before…”

“Well he certainly knows you,” she said, frowning in thought.

“The unsub broke his pattern,” Spencer said, moving on. “First he dumped Melody Porter and released her son early, then he immediately took Eric’s mother with no cooling off period. Not to mention, he didn’t get Eric… he escaped.”

Emily sighed. “That could spell trouble for Eric’s mother… If the unsub can’t complete his ritual, he may kill her right away. Maybe Luke can get the truth from Eric, but if he can’t, we need to know what he isn’t telling us. I’m going to contact Garcia, see if she can give us anything on the newest victim.”

Garcia, of course, picked up on the first ring.

“Hello, my wonderful people. Please tell me you’ve caught this sicko?”

“Not yet, Garcia,” Emily said. “He just took another woman.”

Just then, Luke came in. He closed the door behind him, then came over to the table.

“I got the kid settled in, somebody’s checking up on his injuries. He didn’t want to tell me much. Something gives me the feeling his mom taught him that. We could be looking at the unsub’s intended victim.”

“Gimme whatever you got and I’ll do my best to dig something up,” came Penelope’s voice from the phone.

Emily quickly told her the address.

“The kid’s name is Eric, Garcia,” Luke said.

“Something isn’t right,” Spencer said. “If this woman is the true target, then why wouldn’t he make a greater effort to get Eric too? I mean, that’s what it’s all about for him, right? Making the sons watch what he does to the mother?”

“Okay, yes, I got that address… and it is in the name of one Julie Smith. Huh, that’s odd…”

“What is it?” Emily asked.

“There is absolutely no photo ID on Miss Julie Smith. Her son, Eric, yeah, he’s enrolled in Cape Elizabeth High School. Clever little guy skipped a couple grades, he’s a junior at thirteen. But as for his mom… nada. Not even a driver’s license. For that matter, “Julie Smith” doesn’t seem to exist further than thirteen years back…”

“Witness Protection, maybe?” Luke suggested. “Maybe that’s what this is all about, Julie’s been running all these years and the guy finally caught up.”

“I will look into that, but it’s gonna take some time.”

“We need it as soon as possible, Garcia,” Emily said.

“I’ll hit you back when I get something.”

The call ended, and Prentiss looked up at the other two.

“We need to take a look at that house.”

“Tara’s already there with the sheriff, she called and said there’s something you need to see,” Luke said.

Emily nodded. “Alright, Reid, you’re with me. Luke, you’ve established trust with Eric, see if you can get anything more from him once the medic has cleared him. I’ll send Tara back to talk with him too when she’s done at the house.”

Luke nodded, and headed out.

Spencer followed Emily to the vans, preparing himself for whatever they were going to find in the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know some things may be obvious, but hey! It’s about the story over how twisty and mysterious I can be. Also, I know the action may seem to be moving quickly, but I feel like this will be more of a mini series, and it just doesn’t feel natural for me to draw it out. I hope you enjoyed this part! Be sure to let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now for the surprise reveal… that absolutely no one saw coming!

The first thing Spencer noticed about the house was that it was small. Not run-down or noticable, though. In fact, it was so ordinary that it blended in quite naturally. Well, except for the crime scene tape and the forensic team wandering about.

Tara was waiting for them at the door.

“Good, you brought Reid,” she said to Emily. She looked uncharacteristically worried.

“What’s going on?” Spencer asked.

Tara sighed. “You’re gonna need to see it for yourself.”

Spencer and Emily exchanged a look, but followed Tara up the stairs to the master bedroom. It was in chaos, with obvious signs of a struggle, but that couldn’t have been what Tara had been so worried about. Then, he saw it, and it felt like someone had submerged him in ice water.

There on the wall, written in blood…

_Hello Doctor Reid_

“The unsub knows you…” Emily said, mostly to herself, though the words were directed at Spencer.

He stared at the words, something nagging in the back of his mind. But nothing would come. His brain had frozen up. Spencer shook his head and turned away, trying to clear his mind. And that’s when he saw it.

There on the vanity was a picture of Eric. Spencer could see his reflection behind the picture, and that’s when the gears began turning again. Without saying a word to Emily or Tara, he rushed back outside.

* * *

Spencer made his way to the room where Luke was talking to Eric. Without knocking, he opened the door.

Luke frowned when he saw him.

“Reid, what’s wrong?”

Though he had come here with a plan in mind, thinking he knew exactly what to do, Spencer froze when it came time to face it. Slowly, he stepped fully into the room and closed the door quietly behind him.

Eric was looking at him differently now. He still seemed upset with him, but it was as if he knew what Spencer was going to ask.

“Eric…” Spencer started, “Are you my son?”

Luke’s face clearly displayed his surprise, but Spencer barely even registered it.

There was a heavy silence, as the two of them just looked at each other.

Then, Eric clenched his jaw.

“Biologically, yeah. Not that you stuck around to be a dad to me.”

Spencer stepped back at his words, running a hand through his hair. It felt like the wind had been knocked from his lungs.

Eric almost seemed to regret his words upon seeing Spencer’s reaction. He frowned, and then reached into his pocket, pulling out what looked to be a folded paper. After a small hesitation, he held it out to Spencer.

Slowly, he took it, and unfolded it. It was a little row of pictures, from a photo booth. Spencer recognized it instantly.

“She took me to a local festival for Halloween that year…” he murmured, gazing down at her face with a great pain in his heart. “It was a surprise… She knew how much I loved Halloween. And then she saw the photobooth… insisted that we do it.” His thumb brushed over the fourth picture at the very bottom of the strip. He had the brightest grin on his face, and she was kissing his cheek.

“This is all your fault,” Eric said, his voice cracking. There was no real accusation behind his words. He was just a kid, worried for his mother. “Why did you leave her?”

Spencer slowly moved to sit beside him, and Eric didn’t move away.

“I overreacted,” he said. “I thought it would keep her safe… I didn’t want her to get hurt because of my job. I realized my mistake, but it was too late. I looked for her… But she had moved away.”

Eric watched him with a pained expression.

“She never knew that…” he said.

“If I could do it over again, I wouldn’t have left. Looking back on it, I… She was trying to tell me about you. But I didn’t give her a chance.” Spencer paused, then looked at Eric… looked at his _son_ earnestly. “Eric, I am so, so sorry. And you don’t have to forgive me, or even say anything right now, but I’m going to do everything I can to find (Y/N). In order to do that, I need you to tell me everything about the man who took her.”

Eric nodded. “Yeah, okay…”

Spencer quickly handed the photo strip to Luke.

“Tell Garcia that Julie Smith is really (Y/N) (L/N). She can tell you what you need to know about (Y/N) and I… Use this photo to identify her, it’s over fifteen years old but it’s all we’ve got.”

Luke nodded and quickly left. Spencer caught sight of Emily and Tara before the door closed fully. He trusted Luke to fill them in.

Spencer took a deep breath and turned back to Eric.

“I need you to be completely honest with me… No matter how angry you are at me, you have to tell me the truth to save you mom.”

“I’m not angry at you,” Eric said in a small voice. There was a pause. “I just… Mom always told me that you didn’t know. She said not to hate you. But… I couldn’t help but wonder if you didn’t want me… Cause she always talked about how smart you are, I guess… You were like a superhero to me as a little kid. I figured there was no way you hadn’t figured it out before she tried to tell you. But… meeting you is like… You’re super smart, yeah, but… you’re still just a person. And people aren’t perfect.”

Spencer didn’t know what to say to that. He sat there, trying to find the right words.

“You’re right, I’m not perfect. I left without thinking, acted irrationally… But I want to find her, and get her home safe. And that’s what matters most right now. So I need you to tell me… What happened?”

Eric looked down at his lap.

“He let me go.”

Spencer frowned.

“He let you go?”

Eric nodded. “Yeah… the bad guy… Mom said you guys call him an unsub… When she told me to run, he knocked her out. He caught me at the top of the stairs… but then he let me go. He just laughed… and I was so focused on getting away, that’s when I fell down the stairs.” He looked up at Spencer. “Why did he let me go?”

Spencer’s frown deepened.

“I need to talk it over with my team, okay Eric? But I promise, we are going to find her.”

“I… I believe you,” Eric said. “The stories she told me, about all the things your team has done… I know you can save her.”

Spencer gave him a small smile that he hoped was reassuring, then he stood, reluctantly, and left the room. As soon as he stepped out, he felt the eyes of the team on him.

He took a deep breath, and then sighed, steeling himself for the conversation that needed to be had.

“There’s something I have to tell you guys… and then we need to give the profile.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little late today, but I’m just glad to have gotten it up at all! Enjoy!

They were all staring at him. He hated it when people stared. It was somehow worse because they were his friends. Their gaze felt like needles, or weights, or…

“Spencer?” Emily gently prompted.

He took a breath.

“Eric is my son. Julie Smith’s real name is (Y/N) (L/N), and… I was planning to propose to her once. But then a woman named Maeve Donovan was killed, and I… I left her. I thought that if someone I barely knew was in that much danger… I couldn’t bear to think of what an unsub might do to her. Now I don’t have to imagine… Whatever happened in the past thirteen years we’ve been apart, she’s in danger. And I need your help to save her. My…” His voice cracked. “My _son_ needs his mother. And I need her too. To tell her… how sorry I am. And to try to set things right… ”

There, it was out in the open now. He risked a glance at his team members. Luke’s expression didn’t change; he had been there when Eric confessed. Emily tilted her head, simply listening before reacting. Tara’s brow was furrowed, putting the pieces together. Matt looked sympathetic. Rossi’s expression was difficult to read, but comforting. Penelope was listening on the other end of the line, so he had no way of judging her reaction visibly. And JJ… Spencer couldn’t make out what that face meant. Was she hurt? Shocked? He just couldn’t tell.

“This unsub…” he continued, trying to slowly piece his words together, even as he spoke with urgency. “This unsub chose my family for a reason. He left that message on the wall for me, he knows me. And… he let Eric go.”

“He was dumping his victims in front of law enforcement buildings to get _your_ attention,” JJ realized.

Spencer could only nod.

“We need to know why he let Eric go,” Emily said, “But for now, it’s important to give the police the profile that we do have.” She looked at the others solemnly, then turned a reassuring gaze to Spencer. “We don’t know what his endgame is, but we’re going to figure it out. We will stop him, Spencer.”

He could only hope that she was right.

* * *

“We believe that this unsub is a white male in his late thirties to early forties. He is an extremely organized sexual sadist with a grudge.”

The entire police department of Cape Elizabeth was listening intently as Emily spoke.

“He’s also arrogant,” Tara continued. “He dumps his victims where government officials are sure to notice. In addition to attempting to attract the attention of our team, this tells us that he has an ego. It’s a taunt, saying, “You can’t catch me.” He began to devolve when we arrived, but do not assume that this will make him any less goal-oriented.”

“Now that he has his intended target, Julie Smith, aka (Y/N) (L/N), his behavior will be that much more difficult to predict,” JJ said.

“Because he let the boy go this time?” the deputy asked.

JJ nodded, and Luke answered, “Without Eric, he can’t complete his ritual. But, he let Eric go, meaning something about his ritual has changed. Figuring out that difference could be the key to catching him.”

“That’s all we have for now,” Emily concluded. “Thank you.”

The officers all dispersed with their notes in hand. Luke came over to Spencer, who had stayed quiet during the profile.

“How are you doing, Reid?” he asked. “I know this must be difficult.”

“I just want to find her,” he said, staring at the ground. “Is that strange?” he asked, finally meeting Luke’s gaze. “To still care so much after so many years…”

“Not at all,” he said. “You loved her… I may not have known you then, but I can tell. Love like that doesn’t just stop because you made a stupid decision.”

Spencer sighed, shaking his head. His gaze wandered to the room where Eric sat, waiting.

“What do I do if something happens to her? I don’t know anything about taking care of kids… Especially a kid his age. I’ve missed so much of his life…”

Luke rested a hand on his shoulder. “Spencer, we’re going to find her. But even if we couldn’t, I know you’d be okay. Alright? She’s going to come home, and you two are going to have a very long talk about everything.”

“I hope you’re right.” Then, he sighed. “I should go check on Eric.”

Luke nodded. “Let me know if you need anything.”

Spencer nodded in return, then went over to the side room. But when he walked in, Eric wasn’t there. At first, he wondered if he had maybe stepped out to go to the restroom. But something in his gut told him otherwise. Was it his profiler’s intuition, or a father’s instinct?

Then, he caught sight of the phone on the table, looking like it had been tossed down in a hurry. It was a cheap, disposable model, he noted as he snatched it up.The message was from “mom”, but there was no way (Y/N) had sent it. On the screen, the words glowed menacingly.

_If you want to see your mom alive again, come alone. If you are not alone, she dies._

It was followed by an address and a time. Some quick math told Spencer he could catch up if he left _now_. And so he did.

“Reid, what--”

“No time to explain,” he rushed, shoving the phone into Luke’s hands. “Get that to Garcia!”

With that, Spencer nearly sprinted out the door. Something was very, very wrong about this. None of it made sense. But the one thing he knew was that he was going to save his son.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another late part but with no classes I now have nothing to fill the meaningless void of quarantine to keep me on any kind of schedule rip

Spencer was halfway to the address when his phone rang. He answered it without looking.

“Reid, you need to wait for backup.”

Emily.

“I can’t do that,” he said. “You remember what happened to Haley. You know what happened to Maeve Donovan. I won’t let that happen to her.”

There was a pause, then a resigned sigh.

“As Unit Chief, I can’t condone this, Spencer… but as your friend, I understand. So at least talk this through with us. You have the whole team here, we’re headed to the location right behind you.”

“Garcia, did you get anything from the phone?”

“Not exactly, Boy Wonder, but I think you’ll be pleased with what I dug up. The phone is disposable, so it was a dead end for the most part, so I went back thirteen years and followed (Y/N) up until she dropped off the radar. She did _not_ go into Witness Protection as we first theorized, but you know me, I find a thread and I pull on it. Turns out, your girl had a stalker. About a month and a half after you two split, she had a feeling someone was following her. She filed a police report after about another month, but they couldn’t do anything about it, especially since there were no notes or gifts sent to her. So, she does a DIY identity change - and a very effective one, if I do say so myself. She probably knew what to do because of you… and it saved her life. There was a break in at her apartment, but she had already moved out two days ago.”

“The stalker,” he heard Tara say.

“He went after her…” Spencer said. “But why?”

“Wait a minute, Spence,” JJ said, “A month and a half after you…”

“After I left her,” he said directly.

“Yeah… Well wasn’t that the Tyrone Cresswell case?”

“Who’s Tyrone Cresswell?” Luke asked. That case had been before he, Tara, and Matt had joined the BAU, and it had been while Emily was away..

“He was a serial rapist and murderer,” Spencer explained, taking a sharp right turn. “He--” Just then, it clicked in his mind.

“He attacked couples in their homes…” JJ said, and from her tone, Spencer knew she had come to the same conclusion. “He would rape and torture the wives before killing them in front of the husbands. Then, he’d kill the husbands too…”

“But he’s in jail, right?” Garcia asked. “We put him away, and he’s literally on death row right as we speak… This can’t be him… right?”

The wheels began to turn as Spencer thought it through. _His_ girlfriend, _his_ son, _his_ name on the wall in blood…

“Timothy Carter,” Spencer said suddenly. “The husband in Cresswell’s last victim pair. We got there in time to save him, but Cresswell had already killed his wife Rachel…”

“It has to be him,” JJ said. “Reid and I happened to be the closest pair to their address when Garcia figured out his next target. Spencer was first in the door, Carter laid eyes on _him_ first…”

“He must blame me for not saving Rachel,” Spencer said. He very nearly ran a red light as he willed time to slow down. He was almost there… “He’s going to take my family as revenge for his wife.”

“But why would he want Eric?” Tara pointed out. “He didn’t have any children…”

Spencer paused as realization dawned on him for the second time.

“This whole time we thought the mother-son pairs were surrogates for a mother-son pair the unsub targeted…” he said quickly, nearing the location. “The women were surrogates for (Y/N), and the sons were surrogates for Eric, but what if all along, Eric himself was a surrogate for--”

“You,” Emily realized.

“I’m his true target, not Eric. This is a trap.”

Finally, _finally_ , he reached the address. He screeched to a stop and jumped out of the car.

“Reid, we’re almost there,” Emily said. “You _have_ to wait for backup now, it’s too dangerous. That’s an order.”

“I can’t, Emily,” he said quietly. “He’s my son.”

With that, he hung up the phone and tossed it onto the seat of the SUV. He turned to face the dilapidated building. It looked like some kind of old warehouse. Slowly, he reached for his gun, and headed inside.

If it came down to a trade, he knew exactly what he would do. No matter what, he was going to save his family, even if it meant he lost his own life in the process.

He turned a corner, and the click of a gun stopped him in his tracks.

“Hello, Doctor Reid.”

“Mister Carter.”

Spencer turned to face him, aiming his gun. Timothy Carter had Eric by the shoulder with the barrel of a pistol pressed against his neck. Taking a deep breath, Spencer tried to stay calm, stamping down the red hot feelings that sight brought welling up.

“So, you figured it out then, did you?” Carter sneered “That was quick. I’m surprised, considering last time you were too late.”

Spencer tried to keep his hands from shaking. His aim couldn’t waver.

“I’m sorry about what happened to your wife, Mr. Carter, but do you really think this is what Rachel would have wanted?”

“Don’t you say her name!” tha man hissed, pressing the gun more firmly against Eric’s neck. “You don’t get to say her name… It’s your fault she’s dead!”

Spencer looked at Eric, and he looked back. He couldn’t help a little bit of pride at the fact that there was very little fear in Eric’s eyes. He was a brave boy, just like his mother.

“Why don’t you let Eric go?” Spencer suggested. “This isn’t about him. This isn’t even about (Y/N) either, is it? So you can let both of them go, you don’t need to hurt them. This is about me, right?”

Carter didn’t answer. Instead, he sneered.

“Drop the gun or I shoot the kid.”

When Spencer didn’t do it immediately, Carter gave Eric a shake.

“Now!”

“Okay! Okay…” Spencer said, putting his hands up. Slowly, he bent down and set the gun on the ground. “Now just let Eric go.”

Carter laughed dryly. “Why should I? Just because you did what I said?”

“Because none of this has anything to do with him,” Spencer said.

“No you’re wrong!” Carter shouted. “It has everything to do with him, because of _you_! He’s _your_ son!”

“Yes, he is,” Spencer said, “And that’s why I want to take his place.”

Carter’s smug smirk dropped. “You know?”

Spencer nodded. “I figured it out…”

The man considered it for a moment, then scoffed. “Fine. It isn’t any fun if you already knew. You for him, though, yeah? That’s the deal.”

“Spencer, no!” Eric said.

“Shut up, you!” Carter hissed.

“It’s going to be okay, Eric,” Spencer said, looking him in the eye. “Just trust me.”

Carter shifted the gun from Eric’s neck, aiming it at Spencer instead.

“Get out of here, kid.”

Eric moved away, watching Spencer carefully, searching for any sign or signal, but Spencer just nodded, telling him to go. When he had fully disappeared, Spencer turned back to face Timothy Carter, but he had let his guard down for too long. There was a sharp prick in his neck, and everything went dark.


	6. Chapter 6

Spencer awoke in a dim room. He lay on a concrete floor in a large room. It was impossible to tell what kind of building he was in or where he might be, though. Suddenly, a speaker crackled to life, from somewhere unseen, and Timothy Carter’s voice rang out.

“Welcome back, Doctor Reid…”

“Where is (Y/N)?” Spencer asked.

Carter tutted, condescendingly. “Not so fast now, slow down, Doc. I’m getting there… I think the first question should be _Where am I?_ Look around, Doctor Reid. I’m sure by now you’re realized that there’s no way out… See, I’ve thought of everything. I’ve read up about you… about all of your cases… and I rather liked the man in Kansas City’s idea about making a maze.”

Spencer listened carefully as he continued to scan the room, just in case there _was_ a way out that Carter had missed.

“So I’m in a maze?” he asked.

“Bingo! One point to the Doc. You, my _friend_ , are at the outskirts of the maze. Your lovely (Y/N) is at the center… Tell me, Doctor Reid, did you ever watch the Saw movies? They were my favorite as a kid…”

Spencer didn’t reply.

“No? Well… Let’s just say we’re going to see how fast you can solve the puzzle when it’s _your_ woman’s life on the line, hm?”

“Is this a game for you?” Spencer asked. “You’re putting a woman’s life on the line… all for what? To prove a point? To show me that I’m not as smart as I think I am?”

“You’re getting closer… I get to prove something either way. If you make it in time, then it shows that you work faster when it’s _personal_ , and random civilians don’t mean anything to you. And if you fail… Well, then you’ll have to live with the same pain as me.”

Spencer had started to pace the room, trying to stay calm.

Finally, he asked, “What are the rules?”

“Rules?” Carter questioned innocently.

“You’re not the first psychopath I’ve dealt with, Carter, I know how these things work. There are always rules.”

The man chuckled over the speakers, and suddenly a trail of lights came on overhead, showing him the way to a now-open door and beyond.

“The rules are simple… Follow the lights, solve the puzzles… and try not to wind up with any blood on your hands.”

Right. Simple enough. In a psychopath’s puzzle-filled, death-trap labyrinth.

* * *

Spencer didn’t know how long he’d been in this place. It felt like hours or days. He had solved about a dozen “puzzles” already. One had involved some kind of poisonous gas, another, bolts that flew from the walls like an Indiana Jones movie, and the most recent one, acid.

He was exhausted, running on empty, but he knew he had to press on. The last door loomed in front of him, but there were no visible locks or keypads. Tentatively, he turned the handle and pushed the door open. Spencer braced for the trap he’d just triggered, but none came.

Instead, he finally laid eyes on _her_. For the first time in over thirteen years.

She was watching the door with fear in her eyes, but that faded into disbelief when she saw who it was that lingered in the doorway.

“Spencer…” she breathed.

He rushed over to her and knelt in front of the chair she was tied to.

“It’s me… I’m here.”

It was then that he noticed the black collar around her neck.

“What is this?” he asked her.

(Y/N) didn’t answer immediately.

“I can’t believe you found me… I thought…” She trailed off, tears welling up. “Spencer, there’s so much I never got to tell you… And if I don’t make it out of here, I need you to know…”

Spencer shook his head. “We’re both going to walk out of here, okay? And… I know.”

She paused. “You… know? About…”

“Eric.”

She inhaled sharply.

“(Y/N), I would like nothing more than to talk about him with you… There’s a lot of things I need to apologize for… But I need you to tell me what the unsub did here.”

She took a deep breath to calm herself, and nodded.

“I… I think it’s a bomb.”

Spencer looked a little paler at that, but he nodded. “Okay…” Carefully, he began to inspect it. The wires were woven into her restraints. If he tried to cut her loose, he could detonate the bomb. The only way to get her free would be to defuse it.

Morgan was always the one who knew more about bombs. Spencer desperately searched through his memory, trying to recall any bits and pieces that Derek had ever mentioned, or any FBI books he had ever read that even briefly mentioned what to do.

“Spencer,” (Y/N) said softly, getting his attention. “You should go… Eric needs at least one of us. Please…”

But he stubbornly shook his head.

“He needs _both_ of us, (Y/N). I’m not leaving you.”

She sighed, but relented. “Okay.” They looked at each other for a moment, and then she spoke again.

“I know you’ll make the right choice, Spencer… Just use your head, and go with your gut.”

He laughed softly at the oxymoron, but nodded. “I’ll do my best.”

Turning his attention back to the tangle of wires, Spencer analyzed the patterns, trying to keep the profile in mind.

“What is it?” (Y/N) asked softly. “I know that look… You’ve figured it out, haven’t you?”

“I certainly hope so,” Spencer said. He reached out to where the green wire connected. “Do you trust me?” he asked her.

“You know I do.”

“I hope you’re right to.”

“Wait,” she said, stopping him just before he disconnected it. “Spencer… I want you to know… I never stopped loving you.”

He gave her a sad smile.

“I never stopped loving you either, (Y/N). I’m so sorry for leaving you… I know I can't make up for all of those years… But I love you. No matter what.”

She smiled wistfully, then nodded.

“Okay. I’m ready…”

Spencer took a deep breath. And then, he pulled the wire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this part seems rushed or like I skipped through it quickly, it’s just that I’m not actually smart enough to write out a bunch of traps and Saw puzzles lol. Still, I hope you enjoyed this part! I’ll see you next week!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better late than never!

“And when you arrived at the scene, what did you find, Agent Prentiss?”

The agent across from her boredly glanced at the tape recorder, pen at the ready.

Emily tried to keep her posture respectable and her voice professional as she replied.

“We found Agent Reid’s cell phone and vehicle, where we also found Eric Reid, hiding outside the warehouse.”

“When you say Eric Reid, you are referring to Eric Smith, the son of victim Julie Smith?”

“Yes, but those are not their real names, as we discovered throughout the course of our investigation. Their legal names being--”

“Eric Reid and (Y/N) (L/N),” the agent said, cutting her off. “Yes, we are aware.”

Emily tried to keep her annoyance in check. This whole process was a farce, a hypermasculine mess of bureaucratic red tape designed to make her team’s lives harder.

“And then what happened after that?” the agent asked.

“Eric told us what had happened, how Agent Reid had traded himself to save him.”

“In your opinion, was this a reckless move on the part of Spencer Reid? After all, you had expressly ordered him to wait for the rest of the team. Do you believe that his actions led to the following events?”

“I don’t think that what happened was anyone’s fault,” Emily said shortly. Her ability to remain diplomatic was quickly waning with these accusations.

* * *

“Miss Garcia, when the team contacted you from the warehouse, the location which the unsub had specified, what did you do?”

Penelope fiddled with the fluffy end of her favorite pink glitter pen.

“I had been researching Timothy Carter since the phone call before they had arrived. I discovered a property that he owned that seemed suspicious.”

“Suspicious how?” the agent asked, writing something on his notepad.

“Well, you see, it was super weird, because Carter didn’t own a house in Cape Elizabeth. That was the only place he could have been staying, and based on the profile, the team didn’t think he’d take them somewhere random. This place was like an old factory, it had been shut down and condemned. The property and land had been sold to Carter a few years back. Plenty of time to make all of his creepy modifications…”

* * *

“What kind of modifications would those be, Agent Alvez?”

Luke shrugged, not sure what exactly this suit was trying to get from him. There was definitely an ulterior motive. They were probably looking for someone to pin the blame on.

“Traps on the doors, and inside the building itself. It was odd.”

“Odd how?”

“Unsubs don’t normally play games so blatantly.”

“Do you believe that Spencer Reid’s involvement had anything to do with this abnormality?”

Luke raised an eyebrow.

“Timothy Carter made it pretty clear that his targeting of Doctor Reid was extremely personal. His psychosis--”

“Yes, thank you,” the agent interrupted. “We have the profile in our records. The only interest we have is in sorting out this whole… _unfortunate_ incident.”

“You mean you wanna find somebody to pin the blame on,” Luke said coolly. “Well let me just tell you now, the only person to blame is Timothy Carter. Not Reid, not Emily, and not anyone in the BAU. Timothy Carter.”

* * *

“Doctor Lewis, do you believe that what happened to (Y/N) (L/N) was preventable?”

Tara folded her hands on the table, watching the agent with a professional expression on her face. In truth, she had very little patience for all of this, but she figured if she could sit through hours of talks with serial killers, she could handle one pushy, insensitive agent.

“I find it tedious to dwell on what-ifs, Agent,” she replied. “It’s easy to point fingers and lay blame when you’re looking back on something after the fact. But in the moment, when you’re actually in the field, there’s barely any time. You have to do what you think is best, right then. You have to trust your gut. And that’s what Agent Reid did. That’s what Agent Prentiss did.”

* * *

“As I’ve said before, when I pulled that wire, it was the right one,” Spencer explained calmly for about the third time, though if he was asked again, it would be much _less_ calmly. “Then Timothy Carter came in, waving a gun around. My team burst in right then. Carter grabbed (Y/N) as a hostage. Agent Lewis did her best to talk him down, and when Agent Prentiss saw an pening, she took a shot. It wasn’t fatal, and Carter shot (Y/N). Agent Alvez fired at the unsub again, this time fatally. I kept pressure on (Y/N)’s wound until the paramedics arrived, and they stabilized her. Now I’m here, telling you the same story over and over again, instead of sitting at her bedside with my son. Do you have any more questions for me, Agent, or can I go be with my family now?”

The agent paused, almost having the decency to look embarrassed. He clicked his pen and set it on the table.

“I believe that will be all, Doctor Reid.”

The words had barely left his mouth when Spencer stood and left the room.

“There you are,” Rossi said, holding out a cup of coffee for him. “I was worried they might be questioning you for hours.”

“How’s (Y/N)?” Spencer asked him.

The hospital had lent them the conference room for the case interviews to be conducted. (Y/N) was just two floors up. Rossi began to walk towards the elevator as he spoke.

“She’s good. Emily is with her right now. Just before you came out, she texted me to say that (Y/N) just woke up, in fact. She was asking if they were done grilling you. Even threatened to come down here herself.”

Spencer couldn’t contain a small smile at that. “She must be feeling a lot better, then.”

“I think you’re right,” Rossi chuckled, hitting the button for that floor. “She’s gonna be okay, kid. All three of you are going to be just fine.”

And Spencer believed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I get you with that intro? Aw, come on y’all, did you really think I’d do that to you? I mean, I’m cruel, but I’m not that cruel. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this part! We’re nearing the end now. What kind of things do you hope to see in the resolution parts? Be sure to let me know!

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think? Be sure to let me know! Feedback keeps me going :)


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